Needs
by Aeryn Phoenix
Summary: MotB, One-shot, nonsense. Rated for sexual themes. I don't own anything, etc, etc.


**A/N:** Okay, this is pure insane MotB drivel that has nothing to do with anything and I should probably be slapped for ever writing it. I needed to write something funny as a change of pace from the heavy, dramatic things I've been churning out lately, and this is the result of that. The PC is a drow sorceress/pale master and the entire idea for this came from the hideous female vampire you get as a summon. Rating is for sexual themes. Feel free to leave a review and flame me for being crazy. :P

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Needs

"I don't like this place." The drow's bright, golden eyes scanned the misty forest, a frown firmly in place on her brow. "I feel like we're being watched."

Gann made some noise of amusement low in his throat as he dropped his pack on the ground. "I would think you'd be used to that by now, Nasin."

One snowy eyebrow raised, she replied, "Only when you're walking behind me. You'll surely burn holes into the back of my robes with such stares, Gannyev."

"Ah, but you flatter yourself too much. I was merely thinking that such fine robes would look better on me, of course."

To hide her amusement, Nasin turned her back and began unpacking her tent. "Perhaps I do flatter myself. We wouldn't want your mirror to be jealous, now would we?"

Gann feigned a resigned sigh, his voice taking on a dramatic pitch. "Alas, the beautiful are truly cursed. It's no fault of my own that I find myself far more interesting than the overwhelming majority of those whose path I've crossed."

"We should scout the area." Kaelyn's soft tone always managed to carry easily without her ever raising her voice, and she was clearly unfazed by the banter between her comrades. "I feel a bit uneasy as well."

Nasin nodded and began chanting softly under her breath in drow, her eyes luminescent in the growing darkness. As the spell reached its climax, an unnatural fog rolled around her before it slowly dissipated, leaving her staring into a pair of sparkling wine-colored eyes.

"Vendui, rah'fol," she purred to the male drow before her.

Sharp canines flashed as the vampire smirked and bowed his head slightly. "Jabbress."

"I need you to scout around for me. Stay to the shadows, and do not engage anyone or any_thing_ you may stumble across. Return to me immediate if you are caught."

"As you desire, Jabbress," he murmured in response with another bow.

Nasin started to turn away as he slipped into the deep shadows of the forest, then she added as an afterthought, "Oh, and jaluk? Do _try_ not to die. It would be such a nuisance to have to replace you."

The vampire's voice was light with amusement as he responded from the darkness, "My Mistress' concerns are duly noted."

Satisfied, the sorceress settled down beside the fire that Safiya had just ignited, and Kaelyn murmured as she moved away from the camp, "I will gather more wood – it will be a cold night."

"Indeed," Gann commented to no one in particular in his smoothest, most suggestive tone, "and I grow weary of cold nights."

"Well," Nasin began to pick through the enormous pile of scrolls they seemed to gather on a daily basis, "I'm sure there's a farm house somewhere with a young woman in need of ruining."

"Mmm, yes, one night with me certainly would be enough to ruin her for any other man."

Nasin snorted and still did not look up from her scrolls. "So you are a better lover than the stable boy. I am most impressed, jaluk."

Gann chuckled and seemed eager to continue their verbal sparring, but Safiya spoke up suddenly, morbid curiosity written across her face. "You know, I've been wondering something…about your…pet," she said with a vague gesture toward the darkness where the vampire had vanished.

"Vlos? What about him?"

"I don't know, it's just that," the wizard looked uncharacteristically uncomfortable as she fished for the right words. "You seem to have a rather…_close_ relationship with your summoned minion."

Blinking at her companion blankly, Nasin replied, "Well…I have known him for many years if that's what you…."

"She thinks he is your lover, oh simple one," Gann laughed as he began loosening the buckles on his armor.

Nasin's eyes widened in surprise. "My…?" she broke off and laughed aloud, "no, no, no! He's a vampire – I could never love one such as he."

Safiya looked visibly relieved. "I apologize then. I've only been around a few drow in my life, but none seemed quiet as…well, intimate as you and your summon seem to be."

"It's fine, Safiya," Nasin smiled with a wave of her hand as she turned her attention back to the never-ending mountain of scrolls. "Vlos is a loyal creature, though not by choice I'll admit. I must say he is very talented in bed, however…although most drow males are."

Two pairs of stunned eyes locked on the drow's head, but she seemed not to notice as she continued with her task. "But…" Safiya's stammered, "you just said…."

Nasin looked up once more with confusion on her face. "I said he was not my lover. Believe me," a small, predatory smile turned up the corners of her mouth, "the things we have done in private are _not_ acts of love."

Gann laughed lightly, but Safiya looked mortified. "That's disgusting!"

"Oh, please," Nasin chided with a roll of her golden eyes, "humans are so prudish. What's disgusting is to deny your needs. Sex is natural."

Okku materialized out of the shadows and settled his heavy body down beside the warm fire. "Why must I always arrive during the strangest of conversations? I will take the spirit-eater's side on this, though – sex _is_ natural."

Smirking, Gann spoke up, "Sex between the living and the undead, however…."

The bear lowered his head to his massive paws with a tired sigh. "We all have needs."

Nasin shrugged off Gann's implication, but fixed her focus back on Safiya. "Is that what bothers you then? Because he is not truly alive?"

Safiya looked uncomfortable being the center of their attention. "No, that's not really it at all…although that is a little creepy. But more than that…he's your summon! You're commanding him to…to…."

"Service me?" Nasin laughed at the blush that traveled over the bald woman's features. "I honestly do not see the difference. Is it better to order him into battle to sacrifice his life for me, or to have him pleasure his mistress until she is utterly satisfied?"

Gann's face was completely serious, but delight danced in his gray eyes. "A daunting choice indeed."

Choosing to ignore him, Nasin scooted closer to Safiya and whispered conspiratorially. "Oh come now. Don't tell me you've never dreamed of make Khaji a big brother with exaggerated male attributes."

Both women turned their heads to study Safiya's familiar, who sat on a stump near the fire. Unaware that he was being observed the creature had one finger buried deep in his "nose." He made a small triumphant sound as he extracted a dirty chunk of gelatinous goo and squished it curiously between his fingers.

Safiya shuddered as she looked back at Nasin's amused face. "I think you've just ruined me for sex for a good long time."

"Don't be silly, I didn't mean something that _looks_ like him. You're powerful enough to make a homunculi that looks like anything you could possibly desire." The drow caught a movement from the corner of her eyes and a wicked smile played across her dusky lips. "I'd suggest we already have the perfect model in our midst."

Safiya followed her gaze across the camp to where Gann was removing his armor. As he hauled the padding up over his head, his shirt rode up, exposing an eyeful of rippling abs and smooth skin. Both women unwittingly tilted their heads to the side and let out a breathy, longing sigh.

Shaking herself back to her senses, Safiya insisted, "Still, it just doesn't seem right! It's like you're abusing your power over him."

Laughing, Nasin moved back to her spot on the other side of the fire. "Don't take this the wrong way, abbil, but that is a rather odd statement to hear from the lips of a Red Wizard of Thay."

"Jabbress." The drow vampire slunk forward from the shadows and crouched behind his mistress restlessly. "I found nothing amiss, although the woods seem unusually still. Perhaps it is your mere presence that causes this."

Nasin nodded thoughtfully. "Perhaps. You know," a mischievous grin appeared on her face, "Safiya and I were just discussing you, jaluk. She thinks it is inappropriate for me to abuse my power over you for my own pleasure."

The vampire's crimson gaze flickered to the annoyed wizard, amusement pulling at the corners of his mouth. "I would be lying if I said I gained nothing from our…associations, Jabbress."

"Indeed," the female drow agreed, fighting back her laughter at the expression on Safiya's face. "Perhaps all she needs is a taste of your talent to change her tune, hmm?"

His eyes never leaving the wizard, Vlos smiled seductively and murmured, "It would be my pleasure to give her such a taste…and to take one in return. I wonder, faern, does your magic flavor your skin differently than it does my mistress?"

Nearly in tears from repressed laughter as Safiya flushed bright red, Nasin looked up as Kaelyn carried an armload of wood past her and deposited it beside the fire. "That should last us through the night," the quiet half-celestial said. Looking around the camp, her gaze fell upon the crouching vampire and a small smile played across her peaceful features.

Lowering herself to sit beside the drow spirit-eater, the Dove said softly, "Nasin, I never got the chance to thank you for lending me the services of your companion. You were right – it was exactly what I needed."

An ear-splitting silence descended on the camp as all eyes locked on Kaelyn in astonishment – even Okku raised his head - but Nasin only nodded with a slight smile and said, "You're welcome."

Safiya sputtered, "Y-you…you shared him with…I…" she gave up trying to find the words and just stared.

Lifting one pale eyebrow at the stunned looks on her companion's faces, the Dove offered them a half shrug and said simply, "We all have needs."


End file.
